Project Management and Fatherhood: A Personal Journey of Lessons Learned
Over time, I’ve realized that project management and fatherhood aren’t just casually similar; they deeply inform and enhance each other. In fact, many have noted how skills used at home and work are practically interchangeable.
With Father’s Day around the corner, I find myself reflecting on the two roles that define my life: I’m a project manager in the interior fit-out industry, and I’m a father of two spirited girls (ages 7 and 9). On some mornings, negotiating with my kids about getting dressed or finishing breakfast feels just like a high-stakes stakeholder meeting, both scenarios demand patience, flexibility, and a dash of creativity.
What follows is my first-person account of how lessons from parenting have made me a better project manager, and how managing projects has, in turn, made me a better dad. Let’s explore some questions I’ve asked myself, bridging parenting as leadership and project management principles, all while keeping an eye on that elusive work-life balance.
How is parenting a form of leadership?
Parenting teaches me to lead from behind.
I set a clear direction—safety, respect, kindness—then I step back. I let my daughters choose outfits, solve disputes, and plan birthday menus. They learn to decide; I learn to trust. It mirrors what Devos, De Wit, and Lubberding call a “people-centric, delegated” style: put authority deep in the team so everyone acts, innovates, and grows. lidpublishing.com
When my girls hit a snag—forgotten homework, sibling tension—I resist the urge to fix. I ask questions, not issue orders. Anxiety shrinks; courage swells. The same move works on site: instead of barking solutions, I coach the crew to find their own. Problems get solved faster, and confidence sticks.
Kids track deeds, not titles. If I scroll at dinner, they’ll tune out too. If I admit a mistake, they’ll own theirs. Credibility at home keeps me honest at work. My team follows the person they trust, not the role on my badge.
Success changes shape. KPIs still matter, but legacy matters more. At home, success is two resilient girls. At work, it’s a crew that thrives when I’m away. I mentor, I clear roadblocks, I cheer from the sidelines. Leadership is service in both arenas.
Parenting, then, isn’t just like leadership. It is leadership—practiced daily, tested nightly, refined forever. Leading from behind at home sharpens every move I make on the job, and the lessons loop back, stronger each day.
How is project planning like parenting?
I used to think project charters and family plans belonged in separate worlds. Now I laugh at that idea. When I became a father, I effectively initiated a new “project” – I defined a scope of who I wanted to be as a dad, what values I hoped to impart, and the kind of legacy I wanted to leave for my children. Just as in project management I set clear objectives and a vision for success, as a parent I set a vision for my family’s future. In both cases, planning is everything.
At work, I map out projects with milestones and timelines; at home, I celebrate milestones like first steps, first report cards, or even the daily little wins that mark my kids’ growth. I’ve found that planning for a family event (a birthday party or a weekend outing) uncannily resembles planning a project schedule. There are tasks to sequence, supplies to procure, and deadlines to meet (“the party starts at 2 PM sharp!”). And if you think scheduling a team meeting is tough, try balancing school drop-offs, piano lessons, and bedtime stories.
What about scheduling and time management?
In my job, I guard the project timeline zealously, juggling deadlines and dependencies. At home, the stakes feel even higher when managing the daily routine of two young children. On a typical weekday, I’m orchestrating a morning routine with precision – getting the girls fed, dressed, and off to school – before 8 AM. If that timeline slips, the whole day can fall apart.
Interestingly, parenthood has sharpened my time management in ways no formal training ever did. Dealing with the chaos of children has made the workplace seem almost calm by comparison.
Every hour counts, so I’ve become focused on efficiency and impact. In practical terms, that means I’m better at saying no to unnecessary meetings and yes to wrapping up on time. After all, as soon as the workday ends, a second shift (dinner, homework supervision, bedtime) begins – and I need energy for that too.
How do you allocate resources at work and at home?
In project management, we talk about resource allocation – assigning the right people, time, and budget to get the job done. In fatherhood, resource allocation is just as critical, though the “resources” are your energy, attention, and finances for your family. I often find myself applying the same mindset to my household that I do to project teams. There’s a family budget to manage (school supplies and groceries don’t buy themselves), and there’s only so much time in a day to distribute between work, homework help, playtime, and rest.
It turns out moms and dads might be some of the best project managers in the world when it comes to planning and budgeting.
Think about it – every parent is continually estimating needs (“Do we have enough snacks for the week?”), setting aside contingency funds for unexpected doctor visits, and multitasking through an endless to-do list of chores (which feels like its own project backlog). At work I allocate resources to meet a deadline; at home I allocate Saturday morning to my daughters’ swimming lessons. Both are commitments I schedule and protect.
I’ve also learned the art of delegation in both realms. At work, I empower team members to own tasks; at home, I give my girls age-appropriate responsibilities (like tidying their rooms or helping set the table). It’s not just to lighten my load – it’s to invest them with a sense of ownership and teamwork. The parallel is clear: whether it’s a junior team member or a 7-year-old, people flourish when you trust them with responsibilities.
Why is emotional intelligence crucial for project managers and parents?
As a father, I’m constantly refining my emotional intelligence. Children have a way of pushing your buttons, whether it’s a preschooler’s meltdown over the wrong colour cup or a pre-teen’s anxiety about a school project. Staying calm, listening to their feelings, and responding with empathy (instead of just authority) is daily practice in emotional intelligence. And that practice pays off at work. When a team member is struggling with a task or a client is frustrated, I find myself better equipped to respond with patience and understanding, rather than frustration.
It’s not just me saying this – empathy is widely recognized as a leadership superpower. In a recent survey of 150 CEOs, over 80% acknowledged empathy as a key to success in business. I’ve learned the deepest lessons in empathy from being a dad. Seeing the world through my daughters’ eyes – whether marveling at something new or struggling with a fear – has taught me to truly listen and put myself in someone else’s shoes. As a result, at work I strive to view situations from my team’s perspective or my client’s point of view (much like understanding a child’s feelings). This emotional attunement helps me defuse conflicts and build trust in both arenas.
Patience, has also grown through parenting. Handling those bedtime tantrums or cleaning crayon off the wall for the third time tests your limits. But every time I choose patience over anger at home, I find it that much easier to remain composed during a project crisis. Raising children is an exercise in patience and mindfulness, often under sleep-deprived conditions, but it “seasons” you to handle big challenges. After negotiating bedtime with a stubborn 9-year-old, negotiating project scope changes with a stakeholder seems a tad easier.
How do you manage risks in projects and parenting?
From the moment we bring a child into the world, we’re unconsciously performing risk assessments 24/7. Is the crib safe? Are the car seats installed correctly? Should they really be attempting to skateboard without pads? I joke that I didn’t truly understand risk mitigation until I became a dad of adventurous kids.
At work, we identify risks early – a shipment might be delayed, a contractor might fall through – and we plan responses. At home, I do the same on a smaller scale: I carry band-aids on bike rides and have backup plans for rainy weekends.
However, parenting also taught me an important nuance: you can’t (and shouldn’t) eliminate all risk, or you’ll never let your kids grow. Just as project risk management isn’t about avoiding all risks but handling them wisely, parenting involves deciding which risks to protect against and which to allow in the name of growth (like letting my daughter climb in Bubbeljungle / Monkey Town a little higher than I’m comfortable with, so she gains confidence). It’s a delicate balance – protect, but don’t smother – in projects and in life.
Why do adaptability and flexibility matter in fatherhood and projects?
The first lesson in any parenting book should be: be ready to pivot. Nothing with kids ever goes exactly as planned. That sounds an awful lot like projects, doesn’t it? Scope changes, market shifts, unexpected bugs – the professional world throws curveballs, and so do toddlers (sometimes literal curveballs in the living room).
Being a father has made me far more adaptable and agile in every aspect of life. When my toddler needed a costume for school the very next day (surprise!), my wife figured out how to repurpose an old shirt into a superhero cape on the fly. When my project suddenly was lacking a team member, I similarly reallocated tasks and kept moving without panicking. Parenthood trains you to improvise solutions, and stay resilient in the face of daily mini-crises. After you’ve navigated getting a cranky child to take medicine they hate, solving last-minute project glitches feels doable.
In project management, we champion flexibility through methodologies like Agile – embracing change and iterating. At home, I’ve learned to be agile too (with a small ‘a’): if Plan A for a family outing goes awry due to weather or a mood swing, we quickly move to Plan B (or C). Adaptability isn’t just nice to have – it’s essential for survival in both parenting and project work.
My kids teach me not to be rigid; one size does not fit all in discipline or in motivation – you adjust your approach to each child’s needs. The same goes for team members: I communicate and lead one way with a junior designer who needs guidance and another way with a seasoned designer who values autonomy.
How do project manager dads balance work and family life?
Work-life “balance” is dynamic – it’s less like a perfectly level scale and more like a constant adjustment. There are weeks when a critical project needs extra hours, and my family time diminishes; there are times (like when my kids were newborns or if they’re sick) that family overtakes work for a while. I’ve learned to be present wherever I am. When I’m at work, I focus and get as much done as efficiently as possible. When I’m at home, I strive to disconnect from email and genuinely engage with my girls. Quality of time often matters more than quantity.
Practically, I schedule family commitments on my calendar just as I would important meetings – they’re non-negotiable events. Friday pizza night with the kids or attending a school play goes in the planner, and I organize my work around it. This habit not only ensures I don’t miss precious moments, but it also makes me more disciplined in managing my work tasks within the time I have. (Parkinson’s Law – work expands to fill the time available – has no chance when school pickup is at 3:30 PM sharp!).
I also embrace a key project management principle at home: communication. Just as I’d communicate with a project team about timelines and expectations, I communicate with my spouse about schedules, and even with my kids about when “Dad has to work” and when I’ll be free. Setting those expectations helps everyone cooperate. And when things get overwhelming, I remember the advice that it’s okay to ask for help – in the office we delegate or bring in reinforcements; at home we can lean on family, babysitters, or supportive friends when needed.
Most importantly, I remind myself that being both a committed project manager and a devoted father is possible and can even be synergistic. Rather than viewing parenthood as a hurdle to my career, I see it as an asset. It has made me more focused, empathic, and motivated. Conversely, treating my family time seriously has given me perspective – after a weekend of building forts in the living room, the Monday morning status meeting doesn’t seem so daunting. Each role energizes me for the other. Sure, there are hard days, but the reward of a balanced life – a successful project delivered and a child’s smile at bedtime – is worth every bit of the challenge.
Conclusion: Two Worlds, One Journey
Project management and fatherhood aren’t separate, they feed each other.
What I learn on-site helps me at home. What I learn at home makes me sharper at work. The tools overlap: patience, planning, empathy, quick thinking. I don’t switch hats—I just apply the same mindset, wherever I am.
My daughters have taught me to lead with heart. My projects have taught me to stay calm in chaos. That feedback loop keeps me growing in both roles.
This Father’s Day, I’m not choosing between work and life. I’m connecting the dots.
Think about your own day-to-day. Where do your parenting habits show up at work or vice versa? Try naming one. Then share it with someone else. You might be surprised how much it helps.
FAQs
Do project management skills help with parenting?
Planning, time management, and risk handling come in handy fast. A child’s daily routine? That’s scheduling. Packing for an outing? Risk prep. You’re managing stakeholders too — kids, partner, family — each with different needs. Just don’t forget: you’re not raising a project. You’re raising people.
Can fatherhood make you a better project manager?
You learn patience. You listen better. You adapt quickly. And you prioritize, because you want to be home for dinner. Kids sharpen your leadership, fast.
How do you balance both roles?
Set clear boundaries. Plan your week — block out family time like a meeting. Prioritize the essentials. Communicate at work and at home. Be fully present where you are. And ask for help when needed. You can’t do it all alone.
What PM principle works best at home?
Planning with flexibility. Make a plan, expect change, and pivot when needed. It’s like planning a picnic and switching to movie night when it rains. Keep the goal, shift the path.
Does your parenting style show up in your management style?
It does. Collaborative parents often empower teams. Structured parents bring order to the workplace. The trick is to know when to switch styles. Kids and teams both need leaders who adapt.
